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Several years ago, just prior to revealing a rash on
his penis, my husband struggled at asking me if I could in some way
have a vaginal rash-which I did not have. A disease was the furtherest thing from my mind as I am still my husband's virgin and
I was truly naive to sexually transmitted diseases of any kind.
Since my husband sweats a lot from sports, yard work, etc., I
dismissed his concerns thinking that a few good baths and clean dry
clothes would cure his problem. Within a two-week time frame,
however, I came down with a terrible itch which followed with a
rash and discomfort so I went to my doctor. To the best of my
memory, they did some sort of swab test and I waited a long time;
That was followed up by a urine sample (same visit) and a great
deal later, my doctor came in with the news that the lab work showed
me to have Chlamydia.
I listened carefully though I did not know what
Chlamydia was and I could never quite get over the looks on my
doctor's and nurse's face as they were talking to me. Yet, neither
called it an STD nor did they discuss anything except that it was
highly contagious and that my husband either already had a rash
(which I told him was true) or would get one so, I not only filled
my prescription but had one called in for my husband. I had once
had a yeast infection and thought that maybe these were related.
Also, I trusted my husband and just figured the rash came as some
sensitive skin reaction to any number of things. In the back of my
mind, I kept trying to remember what my doctor diagnosed and why
they had such puzzled looks on their faces so, even months
later, I dug up my medical statement to see what the term was and
it's definition.
When I did, I was not only surprised but think I went
into some form of denial, etc. Weeks and months went by as my mind
replayed some very (suspicious) concerns I had experienced the prior
year and needless to say, I could not forget my husband's remarks
when I told him about his prescription for "our rash." He just kept
telling me that I probably picked up a disease or infection from one
of the ball-park restrooms (where he coached all summer). When I
thought about it more, I couldn't help thinking about him having
revealed the infection first (two weeks earlier than me) so why was
it "my" disease, I wondered. After I confronted him about
Chlamydia, he just kept telling me that I probably had it but didn't
know it. In addition to all that and some months earlier, I had
received my first and only (prank) phone call from another woman who
told me that she was having sex with my husband and that if I did
not have his children, she would be with him; she added that I was a
"bitch" and did not deserve my husband. Of course, that sticks in
my mind even after all these years since I am a Sunday school
teacher and both my husband and I are (were) practicing Christians.
I can't tell you how many different kinds of hurt I was (and still
often) am dealing with. I'll never know who that woman was and, of
course, my husband expects me to believe that it was just a
prank phone call. I cannot help but connect the two.
Although I handled the phone call adequately, and
there were never other calls, I have had to come to terms with the
fact that Chlamydia is sexually transmitted and that since I have
never been with another (man) that my husband must have been
unfaithful to me. As a matter of fact, he travels (on his job)
quite regularly and I know of a couple of women who've made passes
at him though we are married. Needless to say, he claims innocence
in all this but after many years of marriage, I have many reasons to
doubt him. After quite a bit of anguish over all this, I have asked
three different doctors (we moved three times over the past 10
years), a gynecologist, a therapist and a nurse about sexually
transmitted diseases. Each have basically agreed upon one thing:
That one of us picked it up from another person who had the
disease. That's infidelity since it can't be me! So, now...I am
faced with a husband who basically blames me for something he did
and expects me to believe that I have to have picked it up from a
toilet seat. I asked him to go to a therapist with me so that he
could hear strait from their mouths what I have been told. He says
he does not need to hear what they have to say...that he has done
nothing wrong. He also tells me that even though the
disease has to spread sexually - some "one" person had to be the
first to get it and he asks: Where did that first person get it
from? And of course, that means the "one" first person did not
get it from another. Right? So, my question is, how did Chlamydia
originate? How did the first person get it?
Also, is there any way I can prove to him...that he's owes me more
than an apology. Isn't there an explanation in order? Please give
me your opinions/advice, I am interested in knowing what you have to
say and would certainly appreciate it. Thank you.
Hi,
Please allow me
the following: " either Adam or Eve must have gotten form a toilet
seat in the Garden of Eden!"
It seems to me
that you are trying to answer the question “Has my husband been
faithful?" with answers to other questions like:" Who started it?
Are we going to make it? Who is going to clean up?". Or even worse:"
which comes first…. the chicken, the egg or me asking the question?"
This is self
delusion through reason, my dear friend, and the downfall of us
being rational animals. You see, we can justify anything by
confusing contexts and arguing in one area with relations valid in
another area.
Let go, the
answer to your question we'll come to you spontaneously when you
cease the debate within yourself. You have already found out that
"Chlamydia is not...a flower", the rest will appear also by itself.
A big hug to
you.
Dr. Gian
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From:
Sent:
To: drgian@stdweb.com
Subject: RE: ChlamydiaDear Dr Gian,
Hi! I work in the healthcare
field and I and I know quiet alot about STDs. I have a very
serious concern, however: my sixteen year old niece has been
staying with me and my six year old son for about two weeks now,
and had been diagnosed w/ chlamydia about three days ago. I am
aware that this bacteria is spread sexually, orally, and from
hand to eye, etc.. but what I am unsure about is she had
recently taken a bath and used my towel and previously used my
sons towel to dry off (unbeknown to me). With her having a
vaginal discharge could it be possible for the infection to
spread to me or my child if her vaginal secretions come in
contact with our genitals. I ask this also because I don't know
if this type of bacteria can live outside of the human body. Can
it be spread from being in the tub with someone who has a
discharge because my goofy son jumped in the tub with her the
night before she went to the DRs. Could I get it if she leaves
behind discharge on my toliet seat? These are questions I cann't
quite seem to get a straight answer to. I myself am going to the
Drs this week to get checked out but my main concern is my
little boy. I don't want to look stupid and make an appointment
for him if there isn't a chance that he could have it. I also
don't want him subjected to any STD tests at age six but you
know what if I have to I will. My child means the world to me
and I will do anything to ensure his health. I would greatly appriciate your advice and thank you for taking the time to read
my email and answer my off the wall questions.
Hi,
The operating elements in
answering your specific question are: 1) vaginal secretions or bodily
fluids containing Chlamydia. 2)type and length of the contact 3
)mucosal surface.
Chlamydia was once thought to be a virus because this organism seems to
be an obligate intracellular parasite that exclusively infects humans
and it cannot synthesize its own ATP or grow on artificial medium.
Therefore its life outside cells is very short and depends on the
bacterial cells load and on the number of mucosal cellular debris
present in the vaginal or other bodily fluids secretions being deposited
on the outside by an infected person. Now the “outside” environment must
be the closest possible to the “inside” one as far as temperature,
humidity, presence of nutrients, etc. A wet towel, for example, may be
a better survival environment that a very hot tub or a toilet seat.
Finally there must be not a skin but a mucosal contact for the transfer
and colonization of bacteria which attach to specific cell receptors
present on the eye, throat or genitalia mucosa. So as you see it is
practically impossible to get Chlamydia from a toilet seat or a hot tub
and like. The scenario of a towel being used to wipe one’s vaginal
secretions and immediately after being used to wipe another’s eyes is….a
pretty creepy one!
In conclusion I think you are having a responsible, although some what
exaggerated, concern especially in regards to your little boy.
I hope this helps.
In good health,
Dr. Gian
From:
Sent:
To: drgian@stdweb.com
Subject: RE: Chlamydia
Thank you very, very much for your
time and answers
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